The Expression Hub

“Self-love is the first step to peace and happiness.”

– Jessica Collins

It is the fourth day in the week of love . The week which I really used to feel bad about but right now I am in a phase of my life where my mental peace matters to me more than the opinions of the people around me. Not that I am a very arrogant person(though a lot of people perceive me in that manner as well) or I am a narcissist but it is just that I have been trying to internalize the fact that my self -worth depends on how I perceive myself rather than on how other people perceive me as a person. This realization took a lot of time as I always used to fake the fact that I was okay and that people’s opinion did not affect me when the reality was it did affect me a lot. But after a lot of soul searching, reading a lot of quotes based on self-worth and self-doubting sessions, I finally started accepting a few things which actually made the process of self-acceptance a bit easier. Does that mean I wouldn’t have any self -doubt in the near future? Maybe I will, and maybe I should, but this time I will be in a better position to accept things in a better way. I guess with age, wisdom starts dawning on you. So, here are a few things which I have promised to myself this year after years of fighting internal battles with my demons which always pulled me back and affected me as a person.

1. I will not lower my standards for anyone and that includes me myself. If someone feels I am worthy of their time and energy, I am going to be okay with the fact. But even if the opposite is true, I will be okay with the fact.
2. Even if no one comes celebrates someone’s success or does not lend a helping hand, I am going to make sure if I can in any way help a person feel better about himself or herself, I will do so in my full strength. Because, lets face it, we as adults cannot celebrate other people’s success and if you can do the same genuinely, you are an awesome person and way above in your thinking.
3. I am not going to feel guilty if I am not rushing things. As long as I am putting in the work, no one or nothing can make me feel bad about the same. This is because of a simple fact- if you do not know my story, you simply do not have the right to claim that I am not putting in the work. A thing which I have heard a lot of times from a lot of people but now I am going to be like okay boss if that is how you feel please go ahead. This is because your opinion does not define me .
4. We all are defined by an internal moral compass. I am going to stick to the same even though a decision might seem impractical in nature. Its always going to be values first because that defines my character and the person who I am.
5. There are going to be days when I might face a demon called imposter syndrome. I am not going to let it paralyse me. I will take action irrespective of the fact whether I am good or not. Yes, I might fail, I might fall but eventually I will get there.
6. I am not going to feel guilty if I do have multiple interests.I will take time out for each and every interest and would love that interest to grow me as a person.
7. If people try to make me feel bad about myself of who I am as a person, instead of taking it at face value, I will try to analyse what is making them say that and not let that affect me.People are going to judge you but should that stop me from being the person I have always wanted to be ? A big no. But at the same time, I am not entitled to speak bad about anyone. If I do have to speak, I will speak with full respect and courtesy.
8. Everyone’s journey is different. What might seem easy for me might be tough for you. Or what might seem interesting to me might be boring to you and vice-versa. But that does not mean I am not going to give that thing a try. So, why should I let someone’s timeline guide me when I can let my internal light guide me better?
9. If someone is more good-looking, more confident, more hardworking or has a quality which makes that person more worthy maybe I can inculcate the same quality instead of resenting about the same. And maybe ask that person how he or she does that thing effortlessly. I will be just hoping that the person in front is not a clown( I wanted to use a pretty rough word but I resisted the temptation) enough to refuse help. And if he or she is , then all I can do is pray for his or her maturity.
10. And the best advice actually came from my father. He said, “as long as you are willing to learn everyday, maybe you should not feel guilty about who you are as a person. Every person does what seems for him or her the best option and with time figures things out if he or she hasn’t. So, take it one day at a time.”
11. And the final advice came from a story I read recently. Learn to respond instead of reacting because that is going to help you solve problems in a better way.

I can go on but I do not want to sound preachy. I do not want to sound like as someone who has it all figured out. This is because the reality is I am a person who is and will continue to figure herself out as time passes. And maybe with time, will become more compassionate and kinder to myself without losing my sanity and compromising myself as a person. So, which one pointer would you like to implement in yourself this year? Do let me know in the comments section. Would love to hear your thoughts on the same. Till then lots of love and care.